Wednesday, December 16, 2009

i'll be home for christmas

you can count on me :)

(but only after i take my logic final and turn in two 20 page papers)

Friday, November 20, 2009

epistemological dinosaurs

This past weekend I was privileged to participate in Standing Together: The National Student Dialogue Conference III at BIOLA University in California. This "improbable dialogue" was life changing to say the least, and it was the first of many more dialogues to come in the future.

Historically, Mormons and Evangelicals have never gotten along. We disagree fundamentally on almost everything, making it near impossible to sit together and even pretend like we understand. The point of these student dialogues is to open up these discussions, to bridge the divide and eventually find some common ground that we all can stand on together. After all, we both claim to be Christian faiths.

The conference focused around four main presentations, each with a talk given by a Mormon and then an Evangelical. We discussed faith and reason, the idea of grace, Christology, the nature of God and personal conversion. There were two round table discussions where the floor was opened up and the real "dialoguing" began. Out of the 100 or so people in attendance, 10 were Mormons, and so we were severely outnumbered. I sat in my chair at the round table group I was assigned to, shaking. Scriptures in hand I did my best to answer every question that was fired at me, from our idea of grace and works to the temple to my own personal conversion story. Could I answer all the questions they posed? No. Was I close to tears as they critiqued my faith? Yes. But never once did I feel attacked. If we're ever going to understand each other, it's going to start with us students. If we're ever going to bridge this divide that is so deeply rooted in our faiths, then we have to put everything out there on the line and hope that we can at least come to an understanding. Will it happen in the next year? Probably not. But that won't keep us from trying.

Comparative Religion is becoming more and more important to me as I study Philosophy here at BYU. How often do we stand in the safety of our own castles and throw arrows at those of other faiths? How quick are we to judge and point fingers, calling each other "right" or "wrong" without even understanding what the other believes? We cannot sit around and look at the religious convictions of others through the eyes of our own faith. We must suspend our belief, even for a moment, to clearly see the faith of our fellow men. We shouldn't be afraid of taking a critical look at our own beliefs, because when it's all said and done we will come out stronger and better equip to move forward.

What is truth? How do we know something? Is there a single truth that we all should adhere to? What do we leap for? What is the role of faith and reason in conversion? These are all questions that will probably never be answered in this life, but I love diving into them and attempting to get to the very center of our religious lives. I'm a philosophy major - jumping into discussions like these is like pulling candy out of a stocking at Christmastime.

Between appraising the validity of our arguments over dinner to relating our personal conversion stories in the dorm lounge well after midnight, I learned a lot during my weekend at BIOLA. We don't agree on anything, but we're cultivating friendships and a sense of understanding that can hopefully strengthen our own personal testimonies and future religious endeavors. We'll continue to dialogue, continue to hash out this idea of religious truth and eventually, when we all get to the other side, we can come to an ultimate understanding of who we are and what our purpose has been and will continue to be.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

I want to start posting more philosophical things on here. I spend almost every waking moment thinking about topics in philosophy, and it's about time I share some of that here. While attempting to do Kierkegaard, Aristotle or William James justice may seem like an impossible task, I think it's about freaking time. Don't you?

sweet caroline (ba ba ba)

favorite things.

- a quick glance
- hotel pens
- sleeping in
- provo in the fall
- rainy friday afternoons
- otter pops
- midnight txt mesages
- cute headbands
- road trips
- free t-shirts
- breakfast for dinner
- ballet flats
- good philosophical disucssions
- summer nights
- mint medley herb tea with brown sugar
- dance parties

Saturday, October 17, 2009

you can't kill it with goodbye

I've learned something this past week.

People come and go. Places change. Friendships rearrange.

We grow up, we move on.

But the people who matter most will always come back.


Monday, October 5, 2009

this is no time to reminisce.

It's 10:15pm and I'm sitting in the library, "writing" a paper that is due tomorrow. I have 4 out of the 12 pages written. Productive night? Well it was, until this song started playing.

Closing time, time for you to go out, go out into the world.
Closing time, you don't have to go home but you can't stay here.
I know who I want to take me home. Take me home.

Suddenly I was back in the canc, picking myself up off the stained blue floor and throwing away the now empty cup that once held a mint oreo shake. The boys push open the doors and the cold winter air hits our faces and our eyes adjust to the darkness. The breeze pushes us back to our dorms as we laugh and yell at each other across the quad.

When the boys turn the corner on their way back to Merrill, us girls sprint back to Chipman, trying to beat the cold. We race up to the third floor, smiling and panting. By the time we make it back into our rooms and throw our jackets on our beds, the boys have made it online and the skype calls begin.

I should be thinking about Kierkegaard and the Inconsistent Triad, the story of Abraham and Isaac and whether or not one can go beyond faith. But instead I'd rather think of other things.

Playing Chinese Fire Drill in Vegas, climbing into the arms of an Indian statue and proceeding to break the five second rule, running through the kitchens of the canc, parking lot dance parties in St. George, pushing the emergency button on the hill, climbing snow covered mountains at 3am, chasing after deer, going to Walmart at 2am, running across 4 lanes of traffic in the dark, eating a fully cooked rotisserie chicken on the floor of Albertsons, pouring quarters into the Ultimate Bean Bag Shoppe at Denny’s, going to the dollar theater instead of going to class.


Screaming I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles) at the top of our lungs as we raced down the freeway after another epic weekend. Eating Marshmallow Maties during Sunday School and drinking vitamin water at lunch. Staying up until 2am and going to class at 8am. Wasting gas and screaming in the middle of campus, laughing in the library and video chatting during PoliSci.

Remember the glances? The inside jokes? Remember how we had our own language, how we didn’t need anyone but each other. The smiles, the smirks. The never ending conversations and stories we couldn’t tell fast enough.

Eternity one break. Remember?

Monday, September 28, 2009

and then there were two

A couple of weeks ago we bought three fish from Walmart and named them Vegas, Dumbledore and June 25th, 2010 - the only things we really care about in this apartment.

"If Dumbledore dies, that will make sense," we said as we left the store "and Vegas will never die. Vegas can't die. But June 25th, he'll die when we don't care about our boys anymore."

June 25th 2010 is in approx. 9 months. We've been waiting for this day since June 25th 2008. Well, more like March 2008. Actually, we've always been waiting. Our favorite boys will be coming home after serving missions for our church. After two long years we'll finally be back together. Eternity, one break.

Melissa and I came home from FHE tonight, and as usual I checked on our fish. There was June 25th, under a rock at the bottom. I shook the tank, I couldn't believe my eyes. June 25th didn't move. He was dead. Melissa and I started screaming, and sprinted down the street to find the rest of our roommates. Why didn't Dumbledore die instead?!??! Why June 25th???

We buried June 25th 2010 outside of Merrill Hall, where our boys lived freshman year. His tombstone is a picture of our boys that says "RIP June 25th 2010, you'll never die in our hearts." Rest in peace dear fish, but your spirit and what you represent still lives on.

We'll always be waiting for you, June 25.

Friday, September 18, 2009

I wear bows in my hair.

I wear bows in my hair. Bows on headbands, bows on clips, ribbons and bows on bobby pins. I wear obnoxiously large bows and small ones, blue ones, yellow ones, white ones and pink ones. I wear bows in my hair when I go to class, when I go to the pool, when I eat out on Friday nights and when I go to the dollar theater. I wear bows a lot.

Today I was wearing a particularly awesome creme bow headband. While walking across campus, I saw a girl wearing the same headband in a different color. As we walked past each other, she gave me a high five. We plan on walking past the same spot on campus and the same time every day to evaluate our bows. New best friend?

Tuesday, August 25, 2009


Moving back to Provo for my Junior year at BYU tomorrow.

My bedroom is an absolute disaster. Bridesmaid dress from Sherry & Colton's wedding on Saturday is draped over a half full suitcase. There are papers and notebooks and pictures scattered all over the floor, waiting to be sorted. My drawers are empty, my walls are bare.

I'm leaving home to go back home.

Sometimes I worry this is my last summer here in California. Am I really ready to be an adult? Of course not, but who is? I'm excited, anxious, nervous... change always makes me uneasy (no matter how familiar these "changes" are).

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

i work in a classy part of town

I’ve spent this summer working for a fee billing and revenue management software company as a Market Research Analyst, aka I spend the day inside and office with a bunch of computer nerds programming, while I made a million phone calls to important banking people that didn’t really want to talk to me.

Located in the always classy downtown area of Oakland, California, my office is right next door to Gold Teeth Masterz and Billy’s Snacks (and trust me, the kinds of snacks sold at Billy’s are not the kind of snacks that I want). Across the street there is a bank where more dead bodies come out than money goes in, and I know for a fact there is marijuana being dealt at the “dentist office” across the way.

My last day here is on Friday and I’m really going to miss the homeless people, the car crashes, the ghetto kids and the police men. I’ll be returning to Provo, Utah – the land of sober, clean college kids who are honest, hard working and just want to start a family.

The sketchiest street in Provo consists of Ozz Billiards Pool Room, a Chinese computer repair shop and a tattoo parlor that is never open. There are churches on every corner, girls in long shorts and the streets are silent on Sunday afternoons.

No matter how many times I move between California and Utah, it is always a culture shock.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

"Imaginative literature is otherness, and as such alleviates loneliness"


My friend Cassi has a blog.

She writes about books! Reviews, recommendations and anything else. If you like to read books and are looking for something new, go check it out.

I love her lots and I know you will too :)

Thursday, July 23, 2009


I've been trying for DAYS to come up with something coherent to say about the movie, but I just can't do it. So, this will have to do :)

My scattered thoughts on Half Blood Prince.

The opening scene with Harry and Dumbledore was brilliant. The camera's flashing everywhere, I loved it. For the first time I really felt like the characters were true to themselves. They were perfect, and everyone played their parts flawlessly. The movie was too funny. HBP is suppose to be dark, tense and everything is uncertain. I was cracking up the entire movie, but that isn't what this story is about. The tense and emotional scenes were lacking because of all the humor. Dumbledore's death was excellent, he looks so vulnerable and scared. "Do as I say Harry. Trust me." I thought Michael Gambon did very well showing how weak Dumbledore is at this moment. Draco crying and Dumbledore calming staring at great. I appreciated this scene so much more when I saw it the second time. Tom Felton played Draco so well, I couldn't have asked for more. My biggest problem with the entire movie is the Harry/Snape exchange at the end, when he reveals that he is the Half Blood Prince. It was rushed and messy and had so much potential. I was very very disappointed. "PS Harry, I'm the Half Blood Prince." "Really?" "Yeah. See ya." Really guys? That scene in the book is so powerful and overwhelming, and we all know Alan Rickman could have pulled it off..what happened?

I think they've got it right, finally. And I really can't wait to see what Deathly Hallows brings.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

"if she was here, she would have twitpic'd it"

san francisco. 1117. forever 21. food court. jamba juice. gaint cookie cakes. bart. GMH. 2nd floor lobby. he was the bravest man i ever knew. dramadrama. starkidpotter. twitter. stairs. homeless men. cable cars. drunk people. cold stone cupcakes. seamus. sand. #dumbledore. modern art. barefoot. join the slut club babyyy. that guy from the movie. everytime we touch. music in the bathrooms. dressing up. happiness. debbielikescereal. harry potter movies. the tenderloin. 4 am. sleeping on the floor. midnight showings. ball. steve vander ark. cotton candy. GMT. singing. "crap they were gay". half blood prince. new friends. parseltounge. ghirardelli square. rockstars. "meet me in the lobby." bonfire. surprises. pizza. chris rankin. bus rides. catching smoke with your bare hands. phone calls. wizard rock fail. shoppingcon. nutella. hugs. HPH. cold. apparation. friends. azkatraz 2009.

Another convention is over, and as always my heart hurts.

This year, I stopped worrying about being "cool" or hanging out with "the right people" or any of that crap that everyone thinks is so important. I spent time with people who I love more than anything, got to know familiar faces and met some new friends. This fandom is extremely talented and genuine, and I'm always sad to say goodbye.

See you at Infinitus, my loves :)


Tuesday, July 14, 2009

dumbledore we'll fight for you tonight

Slytherin tie? Check.
Wand? Check.
Obnoxiously large bow? Check.
Half-Blood Prince re-read? 150 pages left.
Fandom friends? Check.
Midnight showing tickets? Check.
Awesome wizard rock playlist? Check.
Excessive amount of #dumbledore tweets? Check.

It's Half Blood Prince time, SUCKAS.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

"i don't need friends mom, i have youuuuu" bahaha.

My siblings and I are pretty anti-social. We have friends (a lot of them, actually), but we prefer to spend time at home. The Hosking children like to read books, watch the Discovery channel and go on the computer.

This afternoon we were sitting around the house, and a group of Abby's friends came running up the driveway. They screamed for my sister to come outside and hang out. Abby walked out the front door, waved, and then came back in.

It drives my mom crazy.

"Abby's friends came over today and she totally blew them off!" she told my dad. "Paige never talks to her friends, Jacob never wants to hang out with his, and Hannah doesn't care if she has any. I don't get it!"

How did my social soccer playing high school cheerleader mom get stuck with four nerdy kids who don't feel the need to hang out with their friends all the time? Beats me. But I find it hilarious.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Saturday, June 20, 2009

I've been thinking about moving to NYC a lot in the past year.

Two years. I'll graduate from BYU then I'll go.

Just watch me.

Monday, June 8, 2009


watching band of brothers with the family.
applying for a million jobs.
driving around with the sisters, blasting miley cyrus.
reading outside on the trampoline.
hiking in the mornings.


Saturday, May 23, 2009

Thursday, May 21, 2009

'cause everytime we touch i get this feeeeling

As I sit here sulking, because most of my favorite people in the world are currently in Boston and I'm stuck alone at home, I can't help but think - I'm the luckiest person in the world.

Cons have been on my mind these past few days, and for good reason. Summer is beginning, and "con season" is on the rise. Booking flights and figuring out hotel rooms, it's hard not to catch the feaver. But, we're all pros at this now, right?

From Lumos 2006 in Las Vegas to Terminus 2008 in Chicago some of the best moments of my life have happened with the best people in the world. From meeting everyone to the first time to screaming in the lobby after a year apart, from dancing in 514 to screaming Don't Stop Believing, from riding down escalators yelling "expelliarmus!!" to watching the news in the elevator. These are the moments that define our LIVES.

I wouldn't be who I am today without 3am pillow talks or hug attacks in the lobby. I wouldn't be who I am without phone calls of "can you find me? I don't know where I am" and running to the grocery store to buy poptarts. Mostly I wouldn't be who I am today without the people that made getting lost in Little Falls, NY one of the greatest adventures of all time, or the people who screamed The Weapon with me at Prominus, or any of you at all. So thank you. Thank you for being obnoxious in hotels with me, for spending hundreds of dollars and traveling thousands of miles just to hear "hey, meet me in the lobby in two minutes!"

The Boston invasion may be underway, but San Francisco has yet to be conquered. See you all at Azkatraz :)

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

what do you mean Harry Potter isn't real?

I'll admit that while walking around campus listening to my iPod, I frequently forget where I am, or where I'm going. This afternoon was no different.

While walking from the library to my apartment, my iPod on shuffle, Hank Green's Accio Deathly Hallows began to play. With a skip in my step, I began humming this song, thinking of Chicago, Summer 2007 and other days long past. My humming turned to mouthing the lyrics, my mouthing to whispering, and apparently my whispering became louder and louder. After singing I couldn't care less about Harry Potter if Hogwarts was my alma mater (at the top of my lungs, apparently)I looked around, and everyone was staring at me. I paused the song, and was thrust back into reality.

I figured I had three options at this point. One, I could keep singing and continue on my way home. Two, I could publicly apologize for "disturbing the peace" or three, I could start singing Lean Like A Cholo, the next song on my iPod, and attempt to redeem myself. I did neither. Instead, I tripped down the stairs as I tried running away from the situation.

Well, I guess becoming "that weird Harry Potter girl" here at BYU was inevitable. Maybe if I continue to build this reputation, they'll start letting me bring my wand to class.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

The Talk.

Today I was at work, making brownies as usual. One of my co-workers was in the back, washing dishes. We’d never really spoken before, but we’d been working on the same shift for months. I was cleaning things up when she came over.

“Have I ever told you about my boyfriend? Er, ex-boyfriend now.”

I knew it was time. Time for “the talk”. No, not the talk your parents give you about the birds and the bees in elementary school that makes you feel like throwing up because boys still have cooties, this is the other talk, the girls have before coming friends. Never fail, in order for one female to bond with another, the two must discuss boys. And not just “I have a wonderful boyfriend!” or “I’m going on a date with this super cute guy tonight!” This is a discussion of a history all girls share, the history of crappy boys who have done crappy things.

“No, you never told me about him” I replied (had she ever told me anything?)
“Well, you’ve got to hear this.”

She proceeded to tell me about her psycho now ex boyfriend who was such a jerk. He yelled at her, he never called when he promised, he was controlling and lazy. I nodded my head in sympathy as she told me all the horrible things he had done to her. I found myself saying things like “he totally doesn’t deserve you” and “you’re so much better than him” and then it hit me. I didn’t know this girl. I’d never talked to her before, but I’m taking her side without question. For all I know she could be the crazy one, and her boyfriend could be the saint.

But that didn’t matter. It’s what holds us girls together, united for a cause (heartache to heartache we stand?).

I may never talk to this girl again, but I do know one thing. If I ever meet a boy named Mike from Arizona… I’ll steer clear.