If this were a normal day, I would have already paused in writing this to...bite my nails. My fingers are constantly in my mouth. I bite my nails when I'm tired, I bite my nails when I'm bored, I bite my nails when I'm nervous, I bite my nails when I'm thinking, I bite my nails whenever I feel like it. I don't even realize I'm doing it anymore.
I've decided for the 50th time in my life to break the habit.
In high school, I had acrylics for a short time because of Senior Ball and guess who bit those instead? And I've had manicures. And my nails are always painted. I try and sit on my hands when I'm not using them to resist the temptation. Nothing seems to help.
So here's the deal. I'm done. I'm 21 years old, not 6. The madness must end and it's going to take absolute concentration and willpower on my part. I'm going to give myself a month, and at that point I'll update you all on my progress. If I've failed...well, we'll just move on to attempt #51.
I've spent a lot of time this past week staring at blank Word documents, trying to come up with some type of ~year in review~ to share. Obviously I have not succeeded, and this is the result.
2010 was by far the best year I've lived through, with 2007 coming in close second. But I can't sum up what set this year apart from the rest though pictures or top ten lists (those who read my LJ saw my sad attempt). Because writing "logic dinners" and putting a number next to it doesn't capture those nights in Shelley's apartment where we laid on living room floor and played Truth or Admit until nobody could keep their eyes open. "Infinitus" means nothing if you weren't walking around Hogwarts with some of the most important people in your life or being ridiculous in the hotel lobby. Summer afternoons by the pool, weddings, driving across the country, missing flights and long awaited reunions - writing about it just makes it feel dry and generic.
I have three goals for the new year.
First, to become better at articulating myself. To be more eloquent, to learn how to say what I feel and what I mean.
Second, to write more. By this time next year I'll hopefully be able to capture all the best moments of 2011 with words that reflect the memories.
Third - idk. But a list isn't a list if it just has two things.
Oh and by the way, I GRADUATE FROM COLLEGE THIS YEAR WHATS UP.
(this entry was just too serious, it needed some all caps action.)