Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Double Deuces


Tuesday was my best friend Melissa Dean Connor's 22nd birthday.

I knew for a while that I wanted to write a blog about Melissa, but I wasn't exactly sure what to say. How do you sum up the best of times (and the absolute worst of times) with a few perfectly placed words and quotations that everybody can understand?

Well, it turns out you can't.

If I had to sum up Melissa and I's friendship in one way, I'd tell you this story: A few weeks ago we were both super grumpy, neither of us having a good day. I was all the way out here in Washington DC, and she was in LA. During my lunch break, I texted her to complain. Work is blah, I'm tired, so and so is annoying, I hate everybody, etc. And I don't know whose brilliant idea this was, but somewhere along the conversation one of us decided to list all the people we hate. So we did. For over and hour, Melissa and I texted back and forth names of all the randos in the world, and both our grumpy moods were instantly cured. What does this say about Melissa and I? Well, a lot of things. Go ahead and judge the fact that we both really need to at least pretend like we like people, but that's a different story. To me it's the ultimate act of friendship. What would I do without her?

There are thousands of other stories like the above, and most I would not be able to get though without laughing. As I thought about Melissa's birthday I thought a lot about all the things we'd done together, and I made the following list. These are 22 things that sum up my favorite part about Melissa and I's friendship:

1. "I need to stop, I've done enough telesital stuff for the day"
2. Once we called our friend to take us to get McDonald's ice cream at 3:00am. After he took us through the drive thru, he asked what we wanted to do next. We told him to take us home and we ate ice cream in our beds with the lights off.
3. During our freshman year at BYU, Melissa took BIO100 at the same time all of our friends went to lunch. She ended up retaking the class a few semesters later.
4. Melissa met a boy in a hot tub and we rewrote the song "Baby" by Justin Beiber to describe their relationship. I will never sing the original lyrics again.
5. We were hiking in Yosemite and one of Melissa's shoes fell off the side of the cliff. She hiked the rest of the way down in one sock like a champ.
6. She almost always orders fettuchini alfredo when we go out to eat, but nothing beats her homemade recipie.
7. Melissa knows all the words to Jay Z's "Empire State of Mind" and will rap them on the fly.
8. The two of us commuincate via dolphin noises.
9. In order to marry Melissa you must take her to Burger Supreme at least once a week.
9. We once googled "men in pulka shells."
10. Melissa has created some genius nicknames that include but are not limited to fairy girl, the white witch, beeker and the villian.
11. People don't like to hang out with Melissa and I because we have our own conversations on top of whatever everybody else is talking about.
12. One time Melissa and I were convinced that all the Chili's had been closed and we almost broke down.
13. Melissa loves Mormon Tabernacle Choir. She calls MoTab her "jam"
14. Once Melissa used my little sister's baby pictures for a presnetation about her own life because she couldn't find any of her own.
15. Melissa Dean Connor knows every single word to Aaron Carter's "Aaron's Party" and can sing them without missing a beat.
16. We both say "sorreh" like Gilly.
17. Sophomore year we made up a dance for the ward talent show. Ask Melissa about the Reindeer Click.
18. We once attempted to create a blog called The Legit Blog where we discussed topics of variying legitimacy including Heidi Montag, Twilight and Hawiian shirts.
19. Senior year, Melissa found a long green sock in her bed that didn't belong to anybody we knew. She threw it in the hall outside our apartment and it stayed there for weeks.
20. Melissa and I know more about Vegas than you do, and are more than willing to discuss our adventures in ~da club.
21. My junior year at BYU I was completely in love with a boy I studied with. One night I came home and found Melissa making a PowerPoint slidshow presentation which displayed his best pictures and were synced with the song "SuperStar" by Taylor Swift.
22. Melissa is Jay Z, and I am Kanye West.

If you could please convince her to drop out of school and/or graduate school early and move to DC that would be much appreciated. I can't go on for much longer without my best friend.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MELISSA. EEEHHEHEHEEHHHHH.